Post by WV6Z on Jun 2, 2007 3:33:13 GMT
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines
Enabling customers to withdraw cash
Without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
Requested to use the procedures outlined
Below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE
Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate
Steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Roll down your car window.
3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve your card, cash and receipt.
6. Roll window up.
7. Drive off.
**********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount
to align your car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, roll the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to
passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will
call them back later and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine
due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the proper way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary that has
your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate
wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register
and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder
and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines
Enabling customers to withdraw cash
Without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
Requested to use the procedures outlined
Below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE
Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate
Steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Roll down your car window.
3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve your card, cash and receipt.
6. Roll window up.
7. Drive off.
**********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount
to align your car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, roll the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to
passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will
call them back later and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine
due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the proper way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary that has
your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate
wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register
and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder
and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
