scared to renew ticket

[Kim]

Hi..recently my tech ticket expired and I am in a quandry as to renew or not...let me explain...a little over 10 years ago I got my tech ticket, I had my own base station and talked on a freq that had a few nice women hams. Everyone was friendly and I got to meet a few at a hamfest.A few of my neighboring hams had met me also and had met my partner of several years also.(who was not a ham) I always represented myself on the radio as a happily attached female, who just carried on normal convos without flirtatious or personal information content..Mostly our convos would consist of hows the weather,how you feeling, ect.I always tried to be polite and nice to anyone I spoke to. There was a ham who lived in a very rural area next state over I spoke to on occassion.He seemed to have a very limited education and social life, being middle aged, and living with his elderly mother. I tried to be nice to him asking on the health of his mother ect like the rest of the group. Unfortunately I started to recieve frienly hallmark cards in the mail from this ham not understanding how he obtained my mailing address.Upon asking him about the cards he told me he looked up my information on the ham net..I had no idea that was available to the public..anyways the cards kept comming and getting more personal and personal against the request to him to stop sending them, appreciating the guesture but explaining to him that my partner wouldnt appreciate the attention I was recieving. One day he arrived at my work location unannouced..I was completlely taken back being as i was in the next state and only had mentioned over the radio to the group that I worked for a major retailer in my city (which looking back now was a mistake)..I told the ham that I didnt appreciate him contacting me in person at my work and that once again his attention wasnt wanted nor appreciated..he was then escorted by management to the exit..then the letters started comming to my house..pages of pages of I love you, I will not live without you..ect ect..these letters werent written in a context form but sentences repeated page after page..each time with more intensity..I took the letters to the district attorney and he told me in his opinion the guy was gonna kidnap me..but he couldnt do anything as their was not a written threat but to be careful because he thought the ham was very dangerous..I then sold all my equipment, moved to another state and havent been on the air since..recently Ivemoved back and considered renewing my license since I only have two years to renew without taking the tests again..not that I would talk on the air ( I have monitored on my scanner and the ham is still at the same location talking on the same repeaters I use to use)but I would like to keep my license for emergency operations but I will sure to get a new call sign and po box or something to use in renewing..I just wondered if this situation has happened to any other women hams out there besides me?Thanks for listening

[Renae/k9do]

Nothing close to that has ever happened to me ever.
he sounds like a stalker.


I wouldnt let him keep me from renewing my license, especially if yuo paln to have a different call sign address and dont plan to be active on the air.

[Jackie Bosworth]

Gosh, that terrible!! I can understand why you are worried. But I think Renae is right, this guy doesn't fit in to the usual Ham category, he fits in the stalker one!

Does he still have his license? I know that if something like that happened here you would be able to complain to OFCOM who are the regulating body for all communications and I'm sure that they would take his license away.

If you are getting a new call sign then at least there is maybe a chance that he won't know you. Although if you want to be active on the air I guess it is the norm to give your name during the QSO.

Well I hope that you do renew you license, even if it is only for emergency reasons. Although I'm sure that it would be great to get back on the air. It would be such a shame to let a creep like that ruin your hobby, although I do understand how worrying it is for you.

It has never happened to me and I do hope that it hasn't happened to many ladies out there.

Good luck with everything and I do hope that you get everything sorted out. Just to let you know, if you ever want to register here to chat with other YL's, you don't have to use your real name or callsign and if you select hide email address then only admin and mederators can see it.

33's

Jackie

[kim]

Thanks Jackie and Renae..I think I will renew my ticket only with an address and new call sign...I did think about getting back on the air until I heard him one nite..I thought since moving to the next town over from where I lived before perhaps he couldnt reach the repeater near me now but unfortunately he can..I dont think that any ham agency would do anything to him..this happened almost 10 years ago and he didnt break the law. He was just one of those guys who live in the sticks with not much education and a very limited social mental capacity..in other words a true hillbilly with an obcession..unfortunate for me..I have listened to the group that uses the local repeater for a long time now, its mostly men with only one other woman who rarely gets on, and when she does I notice they dont talk to her much so she signs off..You notice alot when you just listen sometimes..Ive always had a hard time feeling comfortable in a tradional mans hobby,competetive shooting, fishing and ham radio..I think its hard for a woman to be taken seriously or respected in most mens circles..Ive often wondered if the men perhaps get a wrong idea of why a woman wants to join their ranks..I know back here in the south theirs a prevailing attitude that woman belong in the kitchen..its amazing what men say on the radio when they think no woman is listening..anyways thanks for the support I will renew with precautions this time..because Im interested in setting up emergency communications in case I ever have to bug out in case of diaster..btw i have registered under the name of Squeezle here but am awaiting my activation email..thanks again Kim aka Squeezle

[Renae/k9do]

Hi Kim I activated you . Squeezle

I ahve never come across any problems at all, I generally listen long before I jump in.

I have talked with a few groups and the men have always been very nice and glad I joined the group


I dont know if it is because my husband is licensed too or not .

[Maureen]

Hi Kim and Welcome to the Group!

So sorry you have had such problems - I must say I've never heard of that happening here in UK or to any other YL I have spoken to in other parts of the world. DO renew your 'ticket'. It would be a great shame to let someone like that stop you from enjoying the hobby. If you get Echolink set up on your PC you can talk to the YL's here on UKLOTA. Lin makes it a 'private' conference in order to give some of the more 'mic'shy' YL's a bit of confidence - it is also useful for those whose licenses don't let them get decent DX and is handy when conditions are poor for DX. Is it possible for you to operate on frequencies which this guy might not be listening to?
Look forward to catching up with you sometime!

Maureen
G0VRT

[Kim]

Kim, I just joined this group and I hope to be activated soon, I have been a ham Since December 2005 and I have had a stalker problem too. through the mail and twice in different locations related to ham radio. I pretty mich stay off the repeaters. because this one is no good. Kim

[kim]

Kim said:

Kim, I just joined this group and I hope to be activated soon, I have been a ham Since December 2005 and I have had a stalker problem too. through the mail and twice in different locations related to ham radio. I pretty mich stay off the repeaters. because this one is no good. Kim

I also am afraid cause this one has served jail time

[kim]

Did not mean to post twice, sorry from Kim

[WV6Z]

I have had my eye on this thread for quite some time now and although male participants were not solicited for an answer or for input, at the risk of scorn I will post a response. Almost 10 years ago when my wife and I moved here to what then was our new house, we had a stalker, so to speak. More of a pest none the less, but a stalker anyway.

A scanner user local to our new home's area heard me on the air and I made the dreaded mistake of passing on my telephone number over the air to someone who needed help with a radio problem they were having. Immediately the phone calls started. The young chap introduced himself and said he had heard me on the air, said he wasn't really interested in getting his ham ticket, but just wanted to say hello. Immediately, any time I showed up on the air, either talking to my wife or others on local repeaters, he would ring our house. Yes, this included when I was mobile and Sheryl was home alone. He just wanted to say hello and say that he had heard me / us on the air and wanted to know how we were doing.

This went on for 6 months, and led us to having our telephone number changed. Problem solved? I hope so, but, not being a paranoid person mind you, now I wonder if this odd little chap is still listening in and worry that he may use it to determine when I am NOT at home. You never know I guess and these days you can't be too careful.

Anyway, that's our story and I thought I would pass it on as you are quite obviously not the only person with this or similar problems. All of that being said, I sincerely hope you DID renew your license a couple of years ago. I understand that we all have varying levels of interest as well as varying levels of participation in our hobby. I admire your desire to, if nothing else, be prepared to participate in the event of a disaster or some catastrophe, however, if you still have a desire to participate more actively in amateur radio, there are ways. Have you considered 2m APRS for example, or better yet, how about upgrading your license so that you can participate both via voice as well as via digi modes like PSK-31 on the HF bands?

Just a thought, as you did say your stalker is not the sharpest tool in the shed. The likelihood of a dim wit who only uses 2m as an extended form of CB participating in APRS or on HF are slim and none. If you looked up the offending party's call sign on the ULS database or QRZ in the detailed info section, I would be willing to wager that he is a tech class license holder who would be incapable of upgrading his license to get on HF beyond 28.3 and 28.5 MHz. That, Kim, gives you quite a large playing field, one that is more global than local, BUT there is always 75 meters for local chat too. Just remember, as fun and as useful as 2m or 440 FM can be, do NOT limit yourself to emergency only activity on local FM repeaters. If you really want to participate in the hobby, broaden your possibilities to beyond that sole source of participation.

Good luck, our local creep kept us off of the air for a few months before we figured out we could just change our phone number and make him vanish (hopefully)...... if you participate, but not on your local repeaters, your stalker may never know you are still on the air. No desire to upgrade? Fine, use APRS and it's messaging features. Good luck Kim!

[Maureen]

Kim

Hope you have renewed your 'ticket'. Remember you can always use Echolink to keep in touch - no QRM on there!!

Maureen