Martin
Getting the hang of it
Posts: 31
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Post by Martin on Jan 11, 2007 15:51:53 GMT
Sorry! I couldn't resist this on a ladies forum.... ;D ;D - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied
"It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is" she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realise you were a cop."
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Martin
Getting the hang of it
Posts: 31
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Post by Martin on Jan 11, 2007 15:53:10 GMT
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "No... it's because you're 25."
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Martin
Getting the hang of it
Posts: 31
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Post by Martin on Jan 11, 2007 15:54:11 GMT
A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
"In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair... given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Martin
Getting the hang of it
Posts: 31
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Post by Martin on Jan 11, 2007 15:54:51 GMT
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful - you guessed it - blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
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Post by Jackie Bosworth on Jan 11, 2007 20:32:07 GMT
I shouldn't laugh, but I did ;D
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Post by Renae/k9do on Jan 11, 2007 22:31:43 GMT
;D LOL Funny!
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Post by WV6Z on Jan 11, 2007 23:48:11 GMT
HAH! Martin, that is bloody brilliant! ;D
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kc9gld
Expert poster!
Posts: 137
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Post by kc9gld on Jan 12, 2007 2:38:19 GMT
ULV, You ain't right!!!
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Martin
Getting the hang of it
Posts: 31
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Post by Martin on Jan 12, 2007 9:21:29 GMT
Here's one to even the score a bit. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A woman stopped at a petrol station and, after filling her tank, she paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As she stood by her car to drink her cola, she watched a couple of blonde men working along the roadside. One blonde man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other blonde man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the lady with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the woman, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," she said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the council," one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the council's money?" "You don't understand, lady," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there are three of us - me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney is sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."
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Post by Renae/k9do on Jan 12, 2007 15:32:22 GMT
LOL now that is funny! ;D
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Post by Maureen on Jan 12, 2007 17:28:50 GMT
Hi Martin and welcome!
Was that last one originally an 'Irish' joke?
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kc9gld
Expert poster!
Posts: 137
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Post by kc9gld on Jan 12, 2007 23:35:37 GMT
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kc9gld
Expert poster!
Posts: 137
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Post by kc9gld on Jan 12, 2007 23:47:48 GMT
How do you make a blond laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
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Post by Renae/k9do on Jan 13, 2007 12:35:54 GMT
How do you make a blond laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday. LOL ;D
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